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| Using Scenes - Treats and Playtime
I have mentioned in prior essays that, while scening is not a part of the dynamic of true submission, I do scene as a treat or playtime for my subs. I try to take advantage of these times to make an educational experience for the sub. The scenarios are carefully constructed to provide a paradox or a conflict which the submissive must face. The manner in which he resolves the conflict makes apparent where his preferences lie. He must ask himself why he chooses the way he does; rationalize his reaction. Aside from feeling pleasure, he is, by the nature of his participation in the direction of the scene, forced to learn a little bit about himself. Ultimately, the most valuable lesson to be learned in a treat / playtime scene is that the activities he is enjoying are for HIS benefit. He should be brought to realize that he is being given a great gift. His partner is giving him pleasure, not sourced from the power exchange aspect of their relationship, but out of the foundation: caring, trust, and respect of their relationship. One technique for structuring a scenario is to take an activity which the sub feels is "Submissive" or "Humilitating" and use it as the ultimate goal of the session. The objective is to structure a scenario where the sub is forced to accept greater humiliations or pain in 'exchange' for the CHANCE to perform the humiliating act. Such a scenario presents the irony to the sub whereby he is forced to realize that he NEEDS the ultimate act and is willing to do virtually anything to get it. He realizes that you fully understand him, perhaps better than he understand himself (which is a common desire among submissive men). He then realizes that you have the power to give or deny him that pleasure. You are doing it FOR him, because you care about him...it's not about his submission to you. He may even express that he feels selfish accepting the gift. Mission accomplished. A strong example of this is a scenario I produced for my husband, a submissive foot fetishist, who admited the desire to 'humble himself' by kissing my feet. The first step was to withold my feet for several weeks. They were off limits to him in any way. I then introduced a scenario which slowly and methodically introduced greater and greater humiliating and painful tasks for him, dangling the chance to kiss first my shoe and then my bare foot. By the time I decided to send him away to make dinner WIHTOUT the honor of performing the 'humbling' act, he was naked, on his knees, with clamps on his nipples, clothspins on his scrotum, masturbating, sniffing my toes and sticking his fingers into his own rear end! All for the CHANCE to do that 'humiliating' act of kissing my foot! During the short debriefing at the end of the scene (while he cooked) I asked him to reflect on what he learned. He thanked me profusely for helping him to understand how badly he needs to worship my feet and how much he loved me for some day allowing him the priviledge. These were not just words like you hear in the movies, these were heartfelt, sincere, and well thought out (the tears in his eyes helped the sell as well). He has never considered kissing feet humiliating again ... he feels it's a priviledge, one which I now feel comfortable giving him when I'm in a benevolent mood.
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